Whore Talk

Slut-Idiot-Whore Legs In Their Natural Habitat

"Shut up you slut, idiot, WHORE!!"

These are the words that just flew out of my daughter's mouth as she plays alone in her bedroom.

What the ... ?

Little Lowe (aka Boss Lady, aka Precious Little Flower) is my nine year old power house of multi-syllabic words and common sense.  She does not appreciate conflict but can, in general, beat the shit out of her older brother.  She likes order and would like it if everybody would just follow suit.  Case in point  - when her best friend was grounded, she wrote her a detailed letter outlining how to not get in trouble ("Just do what your Mom says and don't maker her say it twice!").

She likes cupcakes and the color purple.

She collects stuffed bears.

She hoards boxes to make stylish yet comfortable homes for said bears.

She has lunch at school with "the new kid."

She gets straight As.

She has a favorite word: "inappropriate"

She buys happy meals for the homeless.

She cleans her room as a hobby and will clean yours too, if you ask her to.

She is not adopted.


This unexpected outburst of filth is delivered with such force and emotion that I am, for just a minute, stunned.  When I finally come to my senses, I confront her.

"Harlowe, what did you just say?"

"Huh?"

"What did you JUST say?"

"Ummm .... slut? Idiot? Whore?"

Her whisky colored eyes blink.  Blink again.

"What is a slut?"

"Somebody who is stupid."

"And the word whore?"

"Umm ..... somebody even more stupid?"

Here's what I want to say to her:  A slut is the friend that makes out with your boyfriend and a whore is the one that sleeps with him.  A slut will have sex with the guy sporting weeping wounds on his mouth, a whore will not.  A whore operates within a set of very specific, often violently-imposed rules, whereas a slut does not.  Sluttiness is hereditary, whoredom is not.  This all makes complete sense to me but I know enough to simplify things.

"No, Harlowe.  A slut is somebody who has sex.  A lot of sex without much consideration.  And a whore is somebody who gets paid for it."

I watch as her face falls and the blush creeps up her neck.

"Where did you hear those words?"

In my head I know it's me, it's got to be me.  But I am fully prepared (and more than willing) to place the blame squarely on the shoulders of some nameless kid with some other foul mouthed mother, or on My Gay, or society at large, or really ... anybody but me.

She begins to raise her arm, her accusing finger already extended.  I close my eyes and prepare to deliver a speech that begins with, "Well, I'm a grown up and those are grown up words, and nobody uses the word slut anymore .... " but when I look at her, she's pointing directly at the television.

Real Housewives:  1
Miss Spoken:  0

And so ends the whore talk with my daughter.  For now.  Although, I do feel the need to parlay this talk with a discussion on female menstruation and how boys are big fat liars.  Maybe next week.